What joy and freedom we should ourselves find in being kind to another. However natural it may be to have someone love and admire us, are we not dependent? The wife is dependent on her husband's love; the friend is dependent on the friend's love. But in the other case we would be free and independent; for our joy would lie in the love itself, and not in the person. We should enjoy life by doing kindness to others. Receiving kindness from others only makes the recipient expect more. He keeps saying, "He is doing this for his own benefit; he is not considering me; he is blaming me; he did not help me; he did not deal fairly with me." His life becomes full of grudges because he expects from everybody all the good that he wants, and he does not know that he ought to have it all in himself that he should become independent. Therein lies the secret of character.