The Teaching of Hazrat Inayat Khan

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In Sufi terms the crushing of the ego is called Nafs Kushi. And how do we grind it? We grind it by sometimes taking ourselves to task. When the self says, "O no, I must not be treated like this", then we say, "What does it matter?" When the self says, "He ought to have done this, she ought to have said that," we say, "What does it matter, either this way or that way? Every person is what he is; you cannot change him, but you can change yourself." That is the grinding.