Very often a stubborn child who does not listen and who does not change, by being asked to turn around three times changes its point of view at once. If one wants to make the child feel more deeply, if one tells the proud child to go and stand in the corner with its back turned to everybody, it really feels hurt. One can also ask it to go out of the room and stand outside the door. That hurts the child still more.

Is it right to punish a child? Punishment is natural. Every soul is punished in some way or other. For everything one does there is a punishment; it is the law of nature. The law of life has punishment just the same. But punishment for the child must be gentle. It is better to avoid a severe punishment, but rather to give a little mental punishment, which makes the child realize that it is being punished. Suppose one told the child to go from one place to another five times or ten times; in point of fact, walking up and down can be an enjoyment for the child, but by the very fact that you have given it as a punishment the child does not like it. The feeling, "I am punished", in itself corrects it. In order to punish you do not need to torture a child; you only need make it realize that it is being punished. That is quite enough.

Sometimes guardians think it is necessary to slap a child, to slap its face. Slapping is sometimes dangerous, because there are veins and delicate organs in the forehead and on the temples, and slapping could cause a condition which though not manifest at the time, might become so after twenty or forty years. And therefore instead of slapping it is far better to tweak the ears. Punishment has a very bad effect when it blunts the sharpness of the child's spirit. Very often punishment may work with the child, but in some way or other it blunts its fineness; and therefore one must try to do without it if one can. Then, after giving good advice and counsel and encouragement, and after showing appreciation and doing everything possible, the last thing is to tweak the ears.

Boys are sometimes more stubborn than girls; and if you give them a little punishment in the form of gymnastics it corrects them. If a boy is told to sit down and stand up fifty times, it helps him in his gymnastics, and at the same time he feels punished. Boys are difficult to control, and can easily become insolent if they are not trained from their babyhood. A girl by nature is thoughtful, and a boy by nature is the contrary. When a boy is thoughtful it means that life has taught him.

Very often both boys and girls can be taught by means of repetition. For instance, if you told the boy to repeat a hundred times, "I will not make pencil marks on the wall", after repeating it for a hundred times he will be impressed by it. There is a great difference in the effect of making a child repeat a phrase and making him write the phrase a hundred times. If you make the child write the phrase a hundred times the effect is one quarter compared with the effect if you had made him say it a hundred times; that is the best punishment you could give him. While he is repeating a hundred times he becomes impatient, he becomes tired and he is displeased with it; at the same time he is impressed that he is being punished. When one asks a child to stand for a long time and repeat, "I will not be mischievous", in fifteen minutes time it will take away a great deal of that spirit of mischievousness from it.

One may ask what one is to do if the child will not take the punishment, will not repeat a phrase, for instance. But the child will surely do it. If from babyhood it is not controlled, then it becomes insolent and refuses afterwards, but if from babyhood it is taught to obey a normal child will not refuse.

How should one treat a child when it is angry? By not partaking of its anger. That is the first principle. When the guardian loses his temper because of the child's anger, then everything goes wrong, because then there is a fire on both sides. The child is not helped in that way. It is best to keep calm and direct the child's attention to something else. If the child is in a temper and the guardian gives it a punishment, that does not do it any good. It is wasted.

There is, however, another time when the punishment may be usefully given. Punishment may be given when the child is in its balanced, normal condition. For instance, if you held a court in the house, where the children could be judged at a time when they had forgotten all about what they had done, then they would remember. That is the time when whatever punishment is given will have effect. But when the child is cross and the punishment is given immediately, it is lost. At that time every effort must be made to take away the temper by kindness, by sympathy. But very often that is where the guardian makes a mistake.

Must a child obey without understanding? There is a vast difference between the mentality and experience of the child and of the guardian. Very often the child will not know why it is told, "You must not do it"; and if the child always asked, "Why must I not do it?" then it would be difficult, because very often it cannot even be explained. And very often it had better not be explained; very often it is better that the child only listens to the guardian and does not argue. Just as the musicians in the orchestra are accustomed to look at the conductor's baton, so a baby must be taught to look at the glance of its guardian. And if the guardian is wise enough to conduct the action of the baby from morning till evening by his glance alone, he is sure to train that child to be a most promising soul in the future.

And now another question arises: how much must a baby be kept in control, and how much must it be allowed to play with its playmates? There must be certain times when the baby is allowed to play with its playmates. But the guardian must select them, because the association in childhood is more responsible for the baby's future than the association when grown-up. Very few people think about this. Mostly the tendency of the parents is to think that any child that comes along can play with their child. But when it comes to home education it is not the same thing; that system will not do; because home education is an individual education, while school education is different. There they are all together, but home education is something else, it is a different ideal. And this must be remembered, that school education without home education is not sufficient.

The greatest drawback today is that home education is lacking, and only school education is given. And therefore in many personalities there is something missing that ought to have come from home. If there were thousands of schools most wisely and wonderfully organized, they still could not take the place of home education. Home education is the foundation of school education; and that opportunity of being educated at home must not be denied to a child, because it is a great blessing.

There must be discrimination in regard to the playmates that one chooses for the baby. And the time must be limited so that the baby plays with its playmates during that time only. But if the child is allowed to run wild in play and there is no limit to it, then no training is given and it is not education. There is need for play, but only for a certain time and no longer.

Regularity in life is the rhythm of life; and the more the rhythm is maintained in life, the better it is. It is not necessary for many grown-up persons to handle a baby; it is better that only one handles it. It is .just like an orchestra and its conductor. If there were four conductors directing the orchestra, they would spoil it. Even if there were four hundred musicians playing there must be only one conductor. It is the same thing with the guardian. If there is more than one person to guide the life of the child, it will be spoiled. In the case of the two parents one must become the hand of the other. But if both wish to manage their child, then it will be spoiled.

If the baby is an orphan, what can one do? That is destiny; one can only be sorry about it. And those who are blessed by Providence and who have to look after an orphan, should consider their responsibility as that of a parent, of a guardian towards the orphan that is in their charge. But every woman and every man in this world should consider it their duty, whenever they are in contact with a new soul, to be as parents to that soul. For in the total scheme of life all the eider ones have to take the part of the parents to the younger ones, while those have to take the part of the children to those who are older. So that we each have our older ones and our younger ones to look up to and to look after.

The greatest ideal that one can give a baby is to look up to its parents. That is the first ideal; and if at that time the baby has not received this ideal, then all his life he will have no ideal, because there will be no basis for it. Someone went to the Prophet Mohammed and said, "Prophet, I am so spiritually inclined, and I would so much like to follow your Message and come and meditate in your presence. But I am still young and my parents need me at home. What shall I do?" The Prophet said, "Remain at home first, because some consideration is due to your parents." One might think that the Prophet was a greater ideal still; why did the Prophet deny him that ideal, why did he send him home? Because the Prophet thought that was the first ideal. If the youth did not reach the first ideal, how could he get to the second ideal? If he did not look up to his parents, did not appreciate them or feel grateful to them, how could he appreciate the Prophet?

It is the parents" duty to give that ideal of themselves to their own child. Not for their own sakes, but for the good of the child. That ideal must be given from babyhood so that the child looks up to its parents as it would look up to the King or Queen, or to God or to a prophet. When the ideal is sown in that way, in the child from the beginning, then it will flourish, and then that ideal will become a guiding torch in the life of the soul.