The time between the ages of ten and twelve years is the period that finishes a cycle, the first cycle in the life of every soul. Mystics consider each cycle as twelve years. Therefore these last three years of the first cycle are of very great importance in the life of the child. During this particular period at the ages of ten, eleven, and twelve, what is taught is like the finishing touch given by an artist after having painted a picture; and after this another cycle begins.

The time of preparing children for the next cycle is a most important period. If the child by this time has not been taught, has not been corrected, has not been given that direction which it ought to have taken, then later on it will be difficult; for the most important period has passed. The more guardians understand of their responsibility, the more they will realize that if things were not taught which should have been taught at that time they can never be taught later.

The appropriate direction must be given to the girls and to the boys. One cannot drive both with the same whip. For instance, a word of displeasure will touch the boy on the surface and the girl to the depth; and it is the same with a word of appreciation. Often with the boy it will go in at one ear and out at the other, whereas the girl will keep it with her perhaps for her whole life. Those who think that boys and girls can both be directed in the same way will find in the end that they made a great mistake. The psychology of the boy is quite different from the girl's, and for each a special method must be used in order to bring them up.

If the girl or the boy receives a word of admiration or of blame, it must be given in different terms and in different words; and one should be most lenient towards the girl, whereas it does not matter so much with the boy. Often the boy takes a punishment and after half an hour, or even before half an hour has passed, he forgets it; and often a girl remembers it for months and months; it affects her most deeply.

Besides there are certain characteristics to be developed in the boy and certain characteristics to be developed in the girl; and you cannot call them virtues for both. For instance,

courage in the boy, modesty in the girl;
common sense in the boy, idealism in the girl;
responsibility in the boy, duty in the girl;
God-ideal in the boy, religion in the girl;
also thought in the boy, consideration in the girl.

One may ask why it is necessary to develop the inherent qualities of boys and girls; why not pay attention first to their opposites? The reason is this, that any quality that is an inherent quality is born in a person because that quality will lead to the purpose of his life. For instance the lion is given the quality of the lion; that is the purpose, that is his destiny; and the deer is given the quality needed for the purpose of his life. But if the lion had the deer quality or the deer had the lion quality, neither would be properly equipped for living in the world. What the deer is shows in its own quality, what the lion is shows in its own quality. One must not think it is not necessary for the other quality to come to the boy or girl; but what should be developed is the particular quality, and the other quality will come by itself. It does not mean that a boy must not have those qualities which have been said to belong to a girl. For instance, if the boy is without any ideal he is useless; but the ideal will come; in the girl, however, it must be planted, it must be developed.

It is the psychology of the boy and the girl which makes it necessary to give certain things to the boy and certain things to the girl; but as they develop they take each other's qualities; with development it comes naturally. Balance is best, whether in the boy or in the girl; and balance comes through opposite qualities. The work of the teacher is not to teach balance, the work of the teacher is to teach qualities; life will bring about balance by itself, as long as boys and girls are taught that particular quality which belongs to them.

The question arises how children should answer the different demands of life, such as helping at home, helping outside, seeing friends, seeing strangers. Children often, eleven, and twelve need not be given particular work to do at home, but at the same time they should be made acquainted with the duties of the household and with the work in outside life, so that as they grow up they may understand and appreciate the responsibility and the duties of their guardians.

With friends of the family children should have a respectful attitude, the same attitude they have towards their own guardians or parents.

One day the Prophet heard his children calling a servant by his name, and the Prophet said, "No, children, he is older than you. Call him uncle."

This ideal was taught from the beginning, in order that as they grew up they might attract more friends, instead of offending friends of the house. Also it shows a beautiful manner in the child to have a friendly outlook and a respectful attitude towards the friends of the family. And when children of that age meet strangers, the strangers can understand from the manner of the children what home, what family they belong to, what education, what training they have been given. If they are rude, thoughtless, inconsiderate, or ill-mannered, they represent their family in this way. Therefore it is the responsibility and the duty of the guardian to make the children aware of these rules of everyday life.

The period between ten and twelve is the period when children must be taught to practice whatever work is given to them, whether it be music, painting, drawing, or anything else. This is the time when they must learn to concentrate upon that work, stick to that work, and not let their minds be disturbed by anything outside; because later on this faculty will prove to be the foundation of spiritual development.

And then comes a still more delicate question, and that is that in their food, in their fancies, in their clothes, they must not have too much their own way; because this is not the time when they should be thinking very much about clothes or about the food they eat or about anything like that; it is the time when they should be quite unaware of it. Whatever is given to them they should take gratefully, thankfully; the days of fancy and fantasy will come afterwards. And if care is not taken of that side of children's nature, it will develop disagreeably and later on it will take the form of a very undesirable spirit.

How can this be done? It should be done, not by correcting them nor by impressing rules upon them, but by making them see the pleasure of contentment; and the thought must be impressed upon them that this is the time when they must put their mind to work. By gentle counsel and friendly advice they will soon understand.

A guardian once told a little girl who was very fond of looking in the mirror, "Jinns can peep through the mirror, and you must look out for them; people who look in the mirror too many times will have to meet jinns." And from that time that little child showed less and less of that tendency.

One may ask if there is any harm in looking in the mirror. There is; looking in the mirror makes one self-conscious, and self-consciousness makes one nervous. And all the tragedy of life comes from self-consciousness when it culminates in self-pity.

It is a very delicate work to train the child without its realizing that it is being taught. Everything one teaches it must be in such a way that the child does not know that a certain rule or principle is imposed upon it; that is the way to work with it. In laughter, in smiles, in stories, in friendly conversation, things can be told to children that they will always remember; but as soon as they are corrected and one imposes a certain principle upon them they begin to feel the burden of it.

It must be remembered that life is an opportunity, and this particular period often, eleven, and twelve years is a most wonderful opportunity. This is the period when children drink in and assimilate any knowledge, and that knowledge grows with them in their growth. Very often the knowledge of the various rules of life can be given to them in a very mild form by telling stories, because a story gives a wonderful picture of life and yet they do not feel the burden of the teaching. They are interested; and very often after the story children will even ask, "What does it mean, what do we get from it?" And when that happens then one should know that one has the greatest opportunity of tuning the child's spirit to the knowledge and the consciousness to which one wishes to tune it.