When the child is six years of age babyhood ends and childhood begins. There are cases of earlier or later development, but as a rule the change comes at six or seven years. This is the age of great conflict because the soul is taking a new step forward in life. And this inner conflict very often seems troublesome to the guardian. The child is restless and obstinate, too active and less responsive. At the age of seven this ends and a new life begins. The child naturally becomes calmer, more harmonious, more responsive, and yields to any advice that the guardian would like to give.

Today many think that at six years old the child should go to school; but this is a mistaken idea. This is the time when the child should be at home, because six years is the time of conflict, and seven is the beginning of a new era for the child. If at that time the child misses home education and is sent to school to be trained with other children, that takes away the distinctive care which should be given to it at that age. If the child has once been sent to school, one should not take it away from the school; but at the same time it would be better if one could manage to keep the child from school and give it home education till it is nine years of age. But if the child would like to go to school should one not send it? One does not send the child to school for its pleasure; and also the guardian can give pleasure to the child by giving it the training which it likes at home. It is not necessary that the guardian should teach the child letters and figures at home. The earlier one teaches a child, the earlier his mentality will wear out in life; and if one does not teach him, it only means that when the mind is mature it will grasp more quickly. Just as the voice producer says that if you begin to sing at a certain age your voice will flourish, and if you sing before that age it is not good, so it is with the mentality of the child. If the child begins before its time, it only means that in the end the mind will wear out before its time.

Where there are many children in the house and the guardian cannot give all his attention to each, this means a little more responsibility; but at the same time it is easier too, because for the guardian with so many children at the same time there is a greater opportunity and greater practice.

What generally happens is that guardians become so tired taking care of the child that they feel a great burden lifted from their shoulders when the child goes to school, for then they feel comfortable, being quite free for six or eight hours, because one child in the house can be equal to one hundred children. Guardians think that they love the child, and very often they believe that they make all sacrifices; but at the same time when it comes to bearing with an energetic child in the house, then there is a doubt. It does not mean lack of love, but they think, "I would be happier if the child were away for a while." But they only think so because they do not know what a great opportunity it is to begin to train and to guide the child. It is an opportunity for its whole life; and if the guardian misses it, it means a loss to the child.

The reason why the guardians are anxious to send the child to school is that they are conscious of competitive life. They see how there is competition in business and industry and on all sides of life; and in order to train the child soon enough, so that it may take up life's duties and responsibilities, they wish to do it too early. The consequence is that the child has lost the best time it could have had at home; a time of rest and comfort, and freedom from all anxiety about the work that it has to do at school; so that its mind could have matured properly, and it could have begun the school work at the right time. It is because the generality of people are so competitive in every profession and business, that we make the coming generation suffer; we deprive the children of their freedom, of the time which they ought to have at home to play and to think little and enjoy life more, and to keep away from worries and anxieties. We take away that best time in the life of the child by sending it to school.

A proper rhythm should be given to the child in babyhood. This is the only training necessary, in order that it may be neither too excitable nor too lethargic; and that its interest may grow, and that, while playing, it may get familiar with nature and gain what knowledge nature can give. When a child is six years of age it is not able to grasp an ideal, and any ideal given to it at that age is wrong. Only evenness of rhythm should be maintained in the everyday life of the child. Its natural tendency is to laugh too much, to play too much. Everything that it is interested in it does more than it should do; and if the guardian can try to keep it normal and balanced it will make a great difference.

At the age of seven the child is ready to conceive any ideal given to it, because that is the beginning of childhood. And now comes the question: what ideal should be given?

The first ideal should be the ideal of a respectful attitude towards its elders; because once grown-up without this ideal a soul never learns respect. He only learns the form, but it does not come from within. Among a hundred persons who are compelled to act respectfully there is perhaps one person who is respectful in spirit; ninety-nine persons are compelled by conventionality to act respectfully, and that action gives no joy. But when that attitude comes from within, then it comes with joy; it gives joy to others and it brings joy to oneself.

Today we see the general attitude of insolence increasing as time goes on. It is the outcome of negligence on the part of the guardians at the time when it should have been taken in hand. Many think that this attitude ought to be taught in school, but the school is not responsible for it. It belongs to home education, and it is the guardian who is responsible for it. And it is at this particular age of seven that it must be given. Of course if a child has not a respectful attitude, one can very easily accept it. One smiles at the lack of it. One thinks, "It is a little child, what do you expect from it?" One's love and affection for the child make one think, "Oh, what does it matter? Is it not a child?" But to take it like that is to work against its future. This is just the time when a respectful attitude must be developed. The tendency to argue, the tendency to hit back, the tendency to refuse, to disobey, the tendency to speak in a disagreeable tone, even the tendency to frown and make a disagreeable face, all these disrespectful tendencies grow with the years in childhood. One does not think that they are of any importance, but when they are allowed to grow they grow as enemies, bitter enemies of that child.

And, as Sa'di says, Ba adab ba nasib, bi adab bi nasib, "The one who has respect in him, he will be fortunate surely; and the one who lacks it will be unfortunate."

The lack of this tendency is a misfortune for man. And besides the man who has no respect for another has no respect for himself. He cannot have it, he has not that sense. Self-respect only comes to the man who has respect for another; you will always find in a disrespectful person a lack of self-respect.
Another ideal is a regard for the guardian. By guardians are meant parents or those who take care of the child and take the place of the parents. And regard is not only respect, it is more than respect. It is the feeling that "this is my guardian", a feeling that "I owe him something", a feeling that "there is a certain duty by which I am bound to my guardian", the realization of the sacredness of that duty. And in this feeling there is a joy. If the child is inspired with this sense at that particular time, one will see that it will enjoy that feeling every time it experiences it.

When we look at life and see how many grown-up people have lost absolutely all regard for their guardians it makes one feel that the world is really wicked. There are so many souls who have no consideration for those who have brought them up from their childhood when they were helpless. It is very sad to see how many guardians and parents are treated neglectfully. And then in some rare case, when you see the devotion of a daughter to her aged mother, a daughter who has sacrificed everything in her life in order to make her aged mother comfortable and to help her, it seems so beautiful. And when you see a grown-up man who has a regard for his mother and father, so that while managing his affairs and having duties and responsibilities of life, he yet at the same time thinks of his aged parents, it is something so beautiful to see and there is such a blessing in it.

One can inspire this beautiful tendency in childhood; but if that time is missed then it becomes difficult. It is not only that it is beautiful to be able to give some pleasure and to render some service to the parents, but those who become considerate in their lives begin to see that this is the greatest privilege and blessing that one could have in life.

May a child give counsel to its parents? It would be disrespectful if even a grown-up child stood up and gave counsel to its parents, unless it was asked to do so. Besides a child is a child even if it is fifty years old, and if it does not feel a child with its parents it is missing a great deal in its life.

There is a story of the King of Udaipur, who was still very sad a year after his mother's death. One day his friends told him, "Now you have reached the age of fifty and you are a father, even a grandfather. Nobody's parents last for ever. As long as she lived it was a privilege, but now she is gone and you must forget your sorrow." He said, "Yes, I am trying to forget; but there is one thing I cannot forget, and that is the nickname by which she called me. Everyone is respectful towards me, everyone calls me 'Maharana', but she alone called me by a nickname, and I loved it so much."

No matter what age one reaches, if one does not feel like a baby, like a child with one's parents, it is a pity. It is a great joy to feel like a baby, no matter at what age. It is a great privilege, a blessing in life when one's parents are living, and when one has that chance of acting like a baby. It is the most beautiful thing in the world.

No doubt it is very easy to be insolent, and it is very amusing to teach others; and when a person is grown-up he may also try to teach his parents. They are old and weak now, and perhaps also declining mentally; naturally they give in. But there is no beauty in it. The beauty is to give a counsel without giving counsel, if necessary even without speaking. On the other hand, thoughtful parents, when a child has won their confidence, naturally wish for counsel. But when the child has the right understanding he will have the right attitude, he will never make the counsel seem like a counsel; he will always put it in such a way that it will seem as if it came from the parents and not from himself.
The third ideal that one can inspire in the child is a sense of pride, a self-respecting attitude; because this is the time when the child could lose its self-respect and that little sense of pride or honor which is now growing in it. It is natural to see the child pleased with a toy or attracted to a sweet that is placed before it; but it is better still when you offer to the child a toy or a sweet which it likes and it refuses it out of self-respect. It is pleasant to see a child saying to its guardian, "Please get me this," and "Buy this for me," or "I would like to have this"; but it is better still to see the child holding back its desire out of self-respect. If pride is not developed at that age, then what is life going to be without pride? Nothing. In the days when communications were not as they are now, it happened that children of good families came to a country far from home and where they were unknown, either because they were exiled or because circumstances or destiny had brought them there. And what made them prove to be what they were was pride, not pearls or jewels or money or anything. A sense of honor is such a great treasure that, in the absence of all jewels and money and wealth, this will prove to be most valuable.

In what must this pride consist? It must consist in the sense of contentment. If the child understands, "Where I am not wanted I need not be", or, "No matter how much better an object belonging to another person may be, or how beautiful is the fruit or the flower, or anything that belongs to him, I must not even show that I would like to have it", that sense of honor is riches itself. How many parents strive all their life to collect money to give comfort to their children afterwards! But how much can they depend on that money, and especially at this time when money is changing so quickly in value that it takes no time for a rich man to become poor? If money makes a person rich, then those riches are not reliable. But the parents can give riches which cannot be taken away from the child; and these riches are in the form of ennobling its spirit.

May not the feeling of honor develop a false pride, one might ask, and how can one prevent this? This is the guardian's responsibility. Anything exaggerated and anything carried to the extreme is bad. One can become too proud and one can think too much of honor. But generally the life of the world is so wicked that instead of increasing the sense of honor it does the opposite. There are so many needs, there are so many wants; there are so many conditions and situations which instead of raising a person pull him down. Therefore the effort on the part of the guardian should be to give a hand to the soul to climb upward, instead of letting it go downward. There are many influences which pull downward. One must inspire the child with such pride and honor that in poverty or wealth, and in all conditions it may prove to be a noble soul.
Then there is a fourth ideal that one should inspire in the child, That ideal is thoughtfulness in speaking or in doing anything. This means the child must become conscious of its child's place; it must not try to take the place of the eider one. It is a child; it must keep its place. For instance, if two elderly people are discussing something and the child comes in and says, "No, no, it is not so," it is out of place. Maybe according to its mind it is not so, but it is not entitled to say so. It must keep its place. That is what is meant by thoughtfulness.

Care must be taken of everything; for instance, when the child wants to sit down somewhere, if it does not consider those who must be seated first, but first takes a place for itself, letting others wait; or if when entering a place or leaving it, the child goes forward and keeps back those who should go first; or when at the dinner-table, a child holds out his hand first, before the others have moved; all such things must be taken care of.

In speech, in movement, in action the child must be conscious of its childhood and must know its place. If not what happens? How few thoughtful people one meets in one's everyday life! When one sees the ordinary life in the world of today there is no end to the lack of consideration. Why? Because they have left out all those things which are of most importance in education; they have left them out in order to make room for mathematics. The primary cause of the loss of all the finer principles in the education given today is that it has left out the ideal.
And the fifth ideal that can be inspired in the child is the ideal of the unknown, of the unseen. If that ideal is not inspired, what does a person live for? Only to earn a loaf of bread? Only to strive in this life of competition day after day, ruining one's health, weakening one's mind, humbling one's spirit? And what does one gain? If earthly gain is all there is, it is a very small gain after all. If a higher ideal, a spiritual ideal, or Go& ideal is not inspired in the child, then it is as you see today, thousands and millions of souls who are lost in the crowd, who do not know anything except living from day to day. Their whole energy is spent in the struggle to live, and there is a still greater struggle to live more comfortably; beyond this there seems nothing else. But how long can they be contented with this ideal? A time comes when they may lose their mind. They may have millions in the bank, and yet they are not satisfied because they cannot see where they are going and whether there is anything to look forward to. It is in childhood that the spirit is responsive, and if the God-ideal is inspired at that time then one has done what Christ has said, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God... and all these things shall be added unto you"; one has given the child a start on the path of God; and that is the first lesson that should be given in childhood.

In training children the best way is not to show them that you are teaching them. The best thing is to be the friend of one's child. In a friendly talk with children one can inspire these things in them. Because as soon as a child knows that it is being taught it takes it heavily. But if you bring out the good that is in the child and the ideal that is in its spirit already, then the child will gladly listen to what you are saying. To rule the child is one thing, and to give loving and friendly counsel to a child is another thing. By ruling one cannot hammer these ideals into the head of a child, but by winning its affection and love you can very well train its spirit and tune it to the higher ideal.